llamadorks

Um, yeah. So this Llamadork (hey gang, Jess again!) is unabashedly obsessed with the newest teeny-bopper, sugar pop anthem of the soon-to-be-summer by Carly Rae Jepsen.

And while some people might brush aside my odd connection with this seemingly childlike song because of my nearly daily environment (hello high school science teacher!) I think Carly Rae was reaching out to a very special population of people. A population of which I hesitate to publicly claim membership. I’m talking about the warriors of the web-romance. Yes, you guessed it. Call Me, Maybe is about the trials and tribulations on online dating.

Don’t believe me? Fine. Let’s turn to the lyrics. I give you the chorus with my translations (‘cause the first verse is dumb. Yes, I adore this song, but the first verse is still banal):

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?
I just saw your profile, so I sent you a long-ish email explaining all the things we apparently have/should have/would like us to have in common.

It’s hard to look right, at you baby, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?

It is had to look right at you baby, because I can only see one picture of you, containing 3/4 your profile in it. Oh well, maybe you’ll write me back anyways.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?
And all the other boys, try to chase me, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?

Literally, all the other boys on this stupid website try to chase me, and trust me their “Hey Hotness” isn’t going to get them anywhere. So seriously baby, write me back, maybe?

Are you seeing the parallels? Because they are just glaringly apparent to me. (yes, I know glaringly apparent is redundant. I was going for irony. Why are you still on my case, eh?) Not convinced yet? Ok. Time to pull out the big guns. Second verse:

You took your time with the call, I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all, but still, you’re in my way
I beg, and borrow and steal
At first sight and it’s real I didn’t know I would feel it, but it’s in my way